how to fall asleep quickly in a way that doesnt involve drugs or blunt trauma
laying next to someone who you love
(via rrystyls)
(via unclefather)
a teleporting cat. It’s just a regular housecat, but it appears in random places when you could have sworn you just saw it somewhere else
that’s just a cat
literally any cat
(via unclefather)
like if a drink is gonna taste bad, then I want it to at least Fuck Me Up, and if a drink isn’t gonna fuck me up, then i want it to taste real nice. but you can’t have a drink that both fails to fuck you up, AND fails to taste good. that’s cheating. and that’s beer.
(via myrosecolouredgirl)
I know you’re tired bitch but keep fucking going
(via myrosecolouredgirl)
The biggest crime here is paying people starvation wages and not donating the food. Capitalism is a death cult.
(via maid-of-snow)
my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator
my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency
they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”
and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”
and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”
“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”
“oh i’m having a heart attack”
my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes
like, “what is your emergency?”
“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”
“… is it… your blood?”
“yes i think so”
“do you know where it’s coming from?”
“probably the stab wound”
“have you been stabbed?”
“oh yah definitely”
In all fairness shock is a hell of a drug
(via jazeth)